Ladies and Gentlemen
As Mother’s Day was celebrated this past Sunday May 8, 2022, what a great time to discuss the differences that make us unique, special and sometimes downright confusing to the opposite sex. Since I’m a man, I thought I’d write about the experience that I know best...Men!
I have to admit, though I love all the women in my life intensely (my wife, daughter, sister, colleagues, etc.); honestly, I understand very little about all of ya’ll. Just when I think I’ve got a bit of a handle on the ‘why you do the things you do’, I get corrected by the Universe and come crashing back to reality.
You (women that is) are the most beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, nurturing, and perplexing human beings on the planet to us men. It’s that elusive trait that keeps us coming back for more only to come up empty handed.
I think the old Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoons sum it up best. We men (Wile E. Coyote) are forever on the hunt to capture and subdue our most wanted object of affection (you disguised as the Road Runner), only to be thwarted by your always outsmarting our cunning and comical ploys to get you. You are to be commended; I truly believe you are the better of the two sexes!
On the other hand, I do want to clarify some seeming misunderstandings you seem to have about us men. From you I often hear of you not understanding us? Now that’s a conundrum if I ever heard one! We are as simple as it gets. So to share some insight on deciphering the Man Code, following are some secret’s that only now will I reveal. When we say…
“Huh?” – Yes, this is a word. It is code for; “I’m not listening to you right now because you sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Want, wa, waa waa want wa.” WHAT?
“I love you too” – This is a standard response to the spouse or significant other when they say I love you first. It oftentimes is said earnestly but could also be used as an escape clause from continuing the conversation.
“No I wasn’t looking at that woman” – Total lie! He was absolutely looking at that woman…that’s what we do. However, it does not mean that he’s not into you so don’t read too much into it.
“Yes dear” – This is an acknowledgement of his acquiescing to your constant demands. It does not mean that he will actually do it, however it does buy him some time to do what he really wants to do…nothing.
“Yes, I’m listening” – Total lie #2, (see Huh?). He is not hearing a word your saying. As a matter of fact, he probably doesn’t want to hear a word your saying but realizes not listening would be counterproductive to his health.
“I’m fine” – Total lie #3. If blood, bones, organs, or muscle is showing, take him to the ER immediately. He will die before acknowledging he is hurt or injured.
“I know exactly where we are” – Total lie #4 (men lie a lot). He has no clue where you are. Tell him your checking messages on your phone, google it and conveniently notice that it happens to be on your phone. NEVER let him know you know you’re lost (he has a fragile ego that needs to be fed…a lot!)
“I think you’re beautiful” – He means it. Don’t mess with it, savor it, and let it be. Do not go, “Are you sure”; “How about compared to (fill in name here)”; or “No I’m not”. If you keep asking be prepared for, “Yes Dear” or “Huh?”
I hope this helps. If not, read, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” by John Gray. I hope it helps you. I read it and still haven't figured y'all out?!
Regardless, know that you are loved intensely. Now about you women…